When the Caterer Cancels and Life Still Goes On
So, our big trip to the Northwest is officially over.
My body and soul are still humming from the ocean air, the towering trees, and those mountains that make you feel very, very small in the best way.
Grandma and Granddaughter Making Memories
We waded in the bay (yes, I brought home a gorgeous green stone that now lives on my desk), dipped our nephew’s sweet little toes in the water, picked blackberries, went on a whale-watching boat, crossed the Capilano Suspension Bridge, and shared plenty of laughter and long conversations with family.
The Capilano Suspension Bridge is 210-feet above a beautiful ravine.
Oh, and then there was the party. You know, the whole reason we were there? A celebration for my mother-in-law’s friends that somehow bloomed into preparing for 150 people.
I love to plan a party, and we had it all handled: cakes pre-ordered from her favorite bakery, fruit and veggie trays lined up, cheese boards ordered. All we had to do was fill cracker baskets, make some bouquets, and serve cake and coffee. Easy, right?
IF ONLY.
If only the caterer had kept their word.
If only their employees had shown up.
If only the manager had said, “Don’t worry! We’ve got this.”
Instead, I got a phone call five hours before the party letting me know they were short-staffed and would not be fulfilling our order.
IF ONLY.
If only I could choose my response.
…Oh, wait. I actually can.
I was mad, sure. But then I remembered, I’m in charge of my brain.
(Emotions are just signals - read more about that here)
So I told myself two things: “Everything is figure-outable” and “God knew this was going to happen.” Then I turned to my husband and daughter and said, “We’ve got this.”
And that’s where the Holy Spirit magic showed up.
My brain opened up, and I thought of my sister-in-law (who just happens to be German and once spent a year chopping vegetables in an English nunnery - because God has a sense of humor). I asked if she’d come extra early to help, and she calmly said yes. Suddenly, the pieces began to fall into place.
Groceries bought. Veggies washed and chopped. Tables set. Bouquets made. Cakes picked up. Coffee brewing. Everything ready right on time.
When I had a moment to breathe, I realized I had a choice.
I could have spiraled into stress and frustration (and probably still gotten it all done). But if I had chosen that route, I would have missed the gift of peace, the joy of teamwork, and the reminder that God really does have it under control.
The Blame Game We All Play
I’ve played the “if only” game plenty of times in my life:
If only my boss gave clearer instructions…
If only my parents had raised me differently…
If only my friends supported me more…
And believe me, I understand that blame feels safe in the moment, it even feels kinda good. But it keeps us stuck.
One of the biggest growth leaps you can make is realizing: No one else is in charge of my peace, my choices, or my future except me (and Jesus).
So, What Does Responsibility Actually Look Like?
For your decisions: Owning the choices you’ve made. Even if you didn’t pick all the circumstances, you get to choose your response.
For your emotions: Realizing that your feelings come from your thoughts, not from someone else’s actions. (People can influence, but they don’t control you.)
For your life: Understanding that growth, purpose, and joy aren’t automatic. They’re built one aligned choice at a time with God’s truth as your anchor.
Why Blame Feels Safer (But Keeps You Small)
Blame shifts the focus outward:
“I’m not where I want to be because of them.”
“My anxiety is worse because she said that.”
“I can’t move forward until someone else changes.”
It feels comforting, but it quietly steals your power. Because when everything is “their fault,” you end up waiting on them, instead of moving with Him.
Practical Ways to Shift Into Ownership
Pause and Notice – Ask yourself: What story am I telling myself right now?
Name Your Part – Even if someone else was wrong, ask: What’s mine to own here?
Take One Small Step – You don’t need to fix everything overnight. Just choose one action today that lines up with who you want to become.
Anchor in Christ – Responsibility doesn’t mean you carry it all alone. It means you lean harder into His wisdom, His love, His strength.
The Gift of Responsibility
When you stop blaming and start owning, you stop waiting for life to happen to you, and you start building it with God.
Responsibility isn’t a burden. It’s a doorway:
To peace (because resentment loosens its grip).
To freedom (because no one else controls your joy).
To purpose (because you boldly step into your calling).
Taking responsibility doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It means you’re honest, brave, and willing to grow.
And when you do? You discover that God has already put everything in you to rise.
So, the next time life hands you a last-minute catering disaster, or any other curveball, remember: you’ve got a choice. And with Jesus by your side, you’ve got what it takes.
I’m cheering you on!
