Becoming Real: My Journey to Emotional Wholeness

I was 21 when a dear friend handed me a tiny copy of The Velveteen Rabbit. I smiled politely, not realizing that this little story about a stuffed rabbit would end up reshaping how I viewed myself, God, and what it means to be real.

Like that worn, threadbare rabbit, I had spent years performing. You know, proving my worth, staying strong, and keeping my feelings tucked safely behind a smile. Vulnerability felt like weakness, and I had learned early that showing pain was dangerous.

When I gave my life to Jesus, I thought the way to honor Him was to be unshakably positive.

I believed if I could just keep smiling through disappointment, I’d be more “spiritually mature.”

When “Strong” Started to Feel Numb

I thought avoiding pain would make me faithful, but it actually made me numb.

I remember sitting in church one morning, surrounded by people singing “It Is Well With My Soul,” and realizing it wasn’t well with mine. I wasn’t angry or hopeless. I just didn’t feel much of anything.

That moment was a quiet wake-up call. I realized I’d spent so long pushing away “negative” emotions that I had also shut out joy, connection, and the tender nearness of God.

What Faith Really Looks Like

The turning point came when I began studying how Jesus interacted with emotions. He didn’t avoid them.

• He wept when Lazarus died.

• He felt compassion for the crowds.

• He got angry at injustice in the temple.

• He grieved in the garden.

Jesus, who is the very picture of holiness, felt deeply.

That’s when it hit me: faith isn’t about avoiding emotions; it’s about walking through them with God.

When I finally allowed myself to feel sadness, anger, and grief with Him, I discovered that those moments weren’t signs of spiritual weakness but rather sacred invitations to healing.

The Cost of Emotional Suppression

When we ignore or suppress our emotions, a few things start to happen:

1. We lose emotional range. You can’t selectively numb pain without also numbing joy.

2. We disconnect from others. You can’t build intimacy when you’re hiding behind armor.

3. We misunderstand faith. Real faith isn’t pretending everything’s okay, it’s trusting God in what’s not.

And honestly? Pretending gets exhausting.

How I Began to Heal Emotionally and Spiritually

I didn’t have a five-step plan or an overnight breakthrough. Healing looked more like a slow unfolding, a gentle peeling back of layers. But here are a few things that made all the difference:

1. Honest Prayer

Instead of reciting perfect prayers, I started praying like David, messy, emotional, and honest. “Lord, I don’t feel close to You right now, but I want to.” That kind of honesty opened the door to intimacy.

2. Somatic Stillness

Learning to sit with my emotions (not fix them) changed everything. Sometimes that meant journaling with a cup of tea, other times lying on the floor with a hand over my heart and breathing deeply while whispering, “Be still and know…”

3. Reframing Vulnerability as Strength

For years, I equated vulnerability with danger. But I began to see that vulnerability is actually courage wearing a softer outfit. It’s the moment you stop performing and start living truthfully.

4. Community and Safe Conversations

Healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Sharing my story with safe people, mentors, close friends, my counselor, all helped me break shame’s hold. Every time I said, “me too,” the enemy’s grip loosened a little more.

5. Learning the Language of Emotions

Instead of labeling emotions as “good” or “bad,” I started asking, What is this feeling trying to teach me?

• Sadness often pointed to loss.

• Anger pointed to something that mattered deeply.

• Fear pointed to where I needed trust.

Emotions became messengers, not enemies.

The Biblical Beauty of Becoming Real

The Velveteen Rabbit becomes real through love, and honestly, so do we.

God isn’t impressed by our polished performance. He’s drawn to our authenticity. He invites us to bring the whole, unfiltered version of ourselves to Him. ALL.

Because that’s where transformation begins.

When we dare to be real before God, we discover a peace that no performance can produce and a joy that no pretending can sustain.

3 Gentle Practices for Growing in Emotional Wholeness

If you’re ready to begin your own journey toward emotional wholeness, start small. Healing doesn’t have to be dramatic, it just has to be honest.

1. Create a daily check-in. Ask yourself: “What am I feeling right now?” and “What do I need?”

2. Pair Scripture with self-compassion. Read verses like Psalm 34:18 or Matthew 11:28 and imagine Jesus saying them directly to you.

3. Journal without judgment. Don’t edit your emotions. Just write them out and invite God into the process.

Want More Ideas?

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Pack Light, Live Free

Ugly Crying in the Parking Lot (and Why It Was Exactly What I Needed)

Becoming Real Is an Ongoing Journey

I wish I could tell you I’ve mastered emotional wholeness, but I’m still learning. Becoming real isn’t a one-time event; it’s a lifelong process of peeling away layers of self-protection and allowing God to touch the tender places.

Some days it still feels messy. But now, I know that’s where the beauty lives! In the mess, the honesty, and the courage to keep showing up.

Because real faith isn’t spotless. It’s alive.

Your Next Step

If this spoke to you, I’d love to walk with you on your own journey toward emotional wholeness.

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