Ugly Crying in the Parking Lot (and Why It Was Exactly What I Needed)

It was a gray, winter afternoon. Rain was streaking across my windshield, my to-do list spilling into tomorrow before today was even done.

I was hustling from one thing to the next, checking the “right” boxes, keeping pace with the never-ending shoulds. And then a song came on the radio.

Before I knew it, I was ugly crying in the grocery store parking lot, you know, the kind of cry where you hope no one pulls into the spot beside you.

You see, it wasn’t just any day. It was January 6th, the birthdate of our first son, Nolan. He was born at 22 weeks and lived only five hours.

Looking back now, I feel such tenderness toward that version of me - running on empty, carrying invisible grief. I am sure I thought I was fine. I probably even said something to that effect.

At the phase in life, I was homeschooling our middle-school daughter, teaching classes at our co-op, serving in leadership, saying “yes” whenever someone needed help, and trying to be an attentive wife.

On the outside, I looked capable. On the inside, I was fraying.

So those tears in the parking lot weren’t a random outburst. They were the floodgates opening. My soul was begging for room to breathe, aching to process pain I hadn’t made space to tend. I simply didn’t know how.

But, dear one, I now know those floodgate moments aren’t failures. They’re invitations. They reveal what’s hidden beneath the hustle, the proving, the pressure to be everything for everyone.

So what changed for me?

'A compassionate trauma psychologist helped me start untangling the knots of pain I had carried for too long. Later, a friend pointed me to Dr. Edie, and that’s when coaching entered my story.

What I found was not advice or quick fixes, but a safe place. Having someone who could listen deeply, reflect back what was true, and ask the gentle, piercing questions that nudged me closer to the life God was calling me into.

What about you? Are you striving to do everything faithfully, excellently, without letting anyone down? Do you find yourself exhausted or on the verge of burnout?

Dear one, hear this: you’re not weak.

You don’t need to “try harder.” What you need is resilience, which simply means growing your capacity to handle life’s ups and downs with more steadiness and grace.

And surprise, surprise, resilience doesn’t mean you’re untouchable, wrapped in an invisible shield. It means you can say “ouch” and know you’ll be okay.

For me, sometimes that looks like journaling, (read more about my love for journaling here), sometimes processing with my coach, sometimes it’s simply breathing and remembering I’m not alone.

And in learning this, I’ve found I can hold space for others too - holding hope for them when they can’t yet hold it for themselves, seeing their unique gifts, and reminding them how desperately the world needs who they are.

If this gate led to your future, what would you choose to find on the other side?

5 Ways Coaching Helps Build Emotional Resilience

1. Teaches You to Manage Your Thoughts
Instead of spiraling into “I can’t handle this” or “I’m so behind,” coaching helps you notice unhelpful thoughts and replace them with truth-filled, empowering ones that fuel peace and steady action.

2. Equips You to Regulate Emotions
Rather than getting stuck in anxiety, frustration, or discouragement, you learn how to pause, process, and respond with clarity and calm.

3. Builds Confidence in Decision-Making
Resilient people don’t avoid hard things, they trust themselves to face them. Coaching gives you the tools to make choices that align with your values and goals without second-guessing every step.

4. Creates Healthy Boundaries in Relationships
Emotional resilience grows when you release over-functioning and people-pleasing. Coaching equips you to honor your own needs and others’, navigating relationships with both strength and grace. Believe me, both parties WIN!

5. Strengthens Your God-Given Identity
At the root of resilience is knowing who you are in Christ. Coaching helps you stand firm in that truth so when life shakes, you bend without breaking.

Dear one, if you’ve been carrying the weight of holding it all together, you don’t have to anymore. Emotional resilience is possible.

It’s not about proving your strength, it’s about letting God meet you in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:10) and teach you how to walk in peace, clarity, and courage.

I’m cheering you on!

Julie